The iPhone in 1384 Words

My mom calls me up yesterday and asked me to write down a few things about the iPhone and email it to her friend. Apparently, my mother works with a girl that takes classes at Akron and was assigned to write a paper about the iPhone. "No one I know has an iPhone, they are like $500. Who pays that much for a cell phone?!?" Well...as my story goes...I paid over 4x that much for a cell phone. Her paper is supposed to be 750 words; I gave her 1384. I read the email to my mother and she thought it was Hysterical, so I give it to you.

Disclaimer: I threw this down as an email in about 30 minutes. It's riddled with typos and grammatical errors. I don't want to hear about it.

So you'd like to know about the iPhone, eh? Well I'm sure my mother has told you a few tidbits about it; How one day I'll cradle it like a baby and the next I'm throwing it at a wall. That pretty much describes my feeling about Time Magazine's "Invention of the Year: 2007." However, I'm going to tell you a tale of a boy and his longing for the device that will not only change cell phones... but change the way I live my life...

"iPerbole- Noun- The hype surrounding any product Apple unveils." -Urban Dictionary (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=iperbole)

January 2007 marks a special time in each geek's life, as it was the official keynote of Steve Jobs showing the iPhone and its functionality, not to mention it's release date. After I saw the conference on www.apple.com via my MacBook I took a picture with my Sprint Phone of my Apple logo light. Quickly setting it as my backround on my phone, I wanted the iPhone.

As months go by the novelty wore off and I grew tired of the whole crazy. Around Easter I called up Sprint, my service provider since 2001, and struck a deal with them for a Blackberry. I had a great plan with Sprint, over the years my plan grew to 1000 anytime minutes, free nights and weekends, free SMS/MMS messages and free wireless web for only $50/month. Life was good. However, the Blackberry was a complete let down. The Blackberry network didn't work half of the time, the web browswer wasn't that great, and the phone was too big to comfortably fit in my pocket. In the beginning of June I abandoned the Blackberry and spent full price on a new, basic flip phone. I went back to Sanyo because I loved their design and layout.

The month of June flew by and I loved my basic phone, I didn't need a blackberry, treo, or even the precious iPhone that was close to arrival at an Apple store near you. By this time I had spent $450 on two phones in the span of two and a half months.

June 29th came and went and the headlines went crazy. "iPhone released!!" I was in Chicago went it came out. My friends and I were on a much needed Vacation and were in town for The Taste of Chicago, the worlds largest food festival. As I always do when I'm in the Windy City, I stepped into the Apple Store. I'm an Apple fanatic. I have a MacBook and pay top dollar for the Applications Apple is known for.

This was June 30th and, of course, they were sold out of the iPhone. Who cares. I was there just to window shop. Well they had 3 tables of display models of the iPhone, probably 12 on each table. I waited in line for 30 minutes jjust to look at one! I have to admit that I didn't believe in love at first sight until I held this little device in my hand.

WIFI, text chats, full web browser, email, weather, maps, youtube........ it had it all!!!!! The store models were connected to the wireless network so everything was lightning fast!! I was in awe. The rest of the night it was all I could think about. I was at Dave and Buster's playing video games and all I could think about was the iPhone. I was in my room at The Drake, the most luxurious hotel downtown, and fantasized about the world class device. I probably dreamt about it that night.....

In the morning I ate breakfast at Starbucks. I saw a man walk by with iPhone in hand. "I have to have it!" I said aloud. I made my friends walk to Michigan Ave. with me to go back into the Apple store. I walked in and walked right to the register. There were little boxes on the counter behind the cashier and I asked "is that the 8GB iPhone?"

"Yes it is. We JUST got a new shipment in 30 minutes ago." the Cashier said. Mind you...this was SUNDAY. An emergency shipment of iPhones came in on a SUNDAY MORNING.....

"I'll take one." I said as I slapped my Visa on the counter. I'm the coolest person I know at this point.....

I take it out of it's box and wear it on my hip all day long. It's not activated but I wanted everyone in Chicago to know that I was cooler than them. $599 plus $50 in taxes.

When I get back to Ohio I activated it after I paid a $250 fee for bad credit. (so what's that? $900 so far..for a phone?) I went for the basic plan .....400 minutes a month.

In Akron the phone worked fine. All of the features were stellar. I worked in Sandusky for the summer and was talking to a friend the entire drive from Akron to Sandusky. I dropped the call 6 times. I should have known then.

I receive my last bill from sprint and it's $400. My last statement PLUS my end of contract fee.

I now own a $1300 iPhone. oh know... it doesn't stop there!

My first month's bill was soemthing like $200. the next month $400. The month after that $300(now we're up to $2200 for the first three months). What the hell is going on? I'm going over my minutes. I up my plan. Now I pay $130 a month now for more minutes a month...

iPhone= iMoney Pit

The Nitty Gritty....

I was a God to those around me. At restaurants I would set the phone down on the table and complete strangers would sit down and talk to me about it. I'm not joking. Everyone wanted to touch it and ask me about it. I lied and told them I loved it.... no one wants to hear the bad news about the new thing...

In reality it was a horrible phone to begin with. I Blamed it on ATT. More bars in more places, my ass. I couldn't hear it ring because I was used to over powering stereo speakers of my Sanyo Multi media phone. I couldn't feel it vibrate unless I was holding it in my hand. I couldn't customize anything .... all of the ringers were dumb and not for my generation...... and to add insult to injury I couldn't even use it in my apartment in Sandusky, the cinderblock walls wouldn't allow the weak signal to come through. What year is it, 1999? My old Nokia in high school had that problem.....not this world class cell phone!

Apple, however, listens to it's customers. Through software updates they've fixed most of the problems we all had with it. I still drop calls but I hope that the 3G update that coming this year will fix all of that. I never take my laptop places anymore because I use my phone for the internet, writing notes, and Email. Most people who complain about the iPhone are just nit picking. But they are justified. when you spend $2200 on somehting you want it to work perfectly. Looking back, it wasn't the iPhone that was horrible, it was the rest of the world. No one was ready for it. There weren't any accessories or programs for it. Now, I can't turn my head without seeing a new add on.

I'll never be able to go back to a regular phone again. the iPHone has made my life simpler and I can do EVERYTHING from one, handheld device. The best feature about the iPhone is the Google maps. Now, the iPhone can track your location and give you pinpoint directions from your current location to wherever you want. Free GPS.

this was lengthy and long winded, but I needed to take you through my journey that is the iPhone. You needed to know how I went from the coolest person in the world to the biggest idiot in the universe-and back again. Sure I drop calls and the damn thing freezes up like an IBM from the 80s, but it's streamlined my life and when people flip out their blackberries and treos I can still throw my phone out and watch everyone's jaws drop. Nothing compares to it.

A Good Book

The other day I was at Border's perusing the gambling section in search of another Texas Hold 'em strategy book. They all say the same thing, but it's interesting to read different perspectives of the game. This isn't the point, though. What I'm trying to say is that I forwent the urge to buy another overpriced book on things I've already read about and grabbed a seemingly familiar non-fiction thriller, 21- Bringing Down the House.

This is the story of the MIT Blackjack Team that took Las Vegas, and other casinos in North America, for millions in the 1990's. Fantastic book. To be taken to a world where a geeky asian kid from MIT could play the part of a High Roller in Vegas, go to parties with A-List celebrities, and come out $5 million on top for a four year run is surreal. I highly recommend this book for anyone who has a day or two to kill. the book runs about 265 pages and can be finished in an afternoon or two. It's an easy read that sucks you in, so 100 pages fly by without even noticing.

I bought the newer version, which I also recommend. I compared books and the stories are the same so don't fret if you've already read the older version. Keep your panties on. The only difference is, is that the new book's cover has the movie art on the front(since the movie 21 is coming out, a movie based on this book) and there is a Q&A with Jeff Wu, the MIT team member that the book is based on, that was taken last year. It rounds the book out and answers the questions you ask yourself during the story. Since the story was written in 2001, the author and Jeff had been asked dozens of popular questions that they answer in this section.

But all of this is not the point though, god dammit.

The point is, is that this book is also taught in math and ethics classes all over the world. The story gives a general outline of how to count cards, but Jeff's essay "How to count cards and beat Vegas" obviously gets into it a bit more. The essay is another little extra the book offers in the back. Since it's a text book of sorts it comes complete with discussion questions, too.

I read the discussion questions and my usual feeling of accomplishment from finishing a book was over shadowed by sheer disappointment. I need to get back into school, even if it's just one class at a time. As I read the questions I could see one thousand words, typed and double spaced in front of me on a Microsoft Word template. I was so proud of myself in college. I'd even hang my A papers on my fridge. No one ever came over, but I never had A papers to hang on the fridge in High School. I'd just stare at them as I took a shit because my bathroom was right across the way from my fridge.

I think I'm going to take an online creative writing course this summer and forget working a second job while I'm at Cedar Point. Since Jason isn't going back to Cedar Point I'll have plenty of time to kill by myself, why not spend it doing something productive?

My bad....

I've been bad and haven't blogged lately. That's really because nothing is going on. I've spent the last 9 days doing the Chemo thing and haven't been up to much. Before that I placed in two poker tournaments and won $160 total, so that's cool. I'm getting better at it and have moved out of the red for the year. Hopefully, I'll stay out of the red.

Do I have a gambling problem?
No. If anything, I have a morphine problem. I have a horrible problem of becoming obsessive about things I want to learn more of. I have a love problem. I health problems. I have a boredom problem. I have a growing obsession with IVs and needles, THAT'S problem. I have a weight problem. I have a nutrition problem. I have a hair problem. I have a sleeping problem. I have a problem with people who can't look me in the eyes when they talk to me; It's creepy. I have a problem with arrogant, prick assholes.... I have 99 problems.... but gambling ain't one.

Texas Hold'em is something I picked up in the last few month I was in Bloomington. Mostly, just to cure the boredom of the summer nights with my friends Zach, Lambert, Steve and Katie. I played for fun just to have something to do. I wasn't very competitive because I thought personal circumstances would change in my life that would not really allow gambling.

After that fell to the way side, I got a little more into it. My friends thought they were going to start a card room in Bloomington and wanted me to be a dealer and some sort of manager. So, I started taking it a little more seriously. They're business plan fell apart, something about the investors pulling out, and I was stuck with my hands on my ass and a curiosity for the sport.

Then life happened and whirled me back to Ohio.

Fast Forward 8 months
I'm all done with Cedar Point and bored as hell. I start poking my nose around and my mom tells me that people play at the Upper Deck, a bar in Akron, on monday nights. I check it out. Just my luck, its a free league that plays for points and is just a bunch of people looking to have fun. I played in their league on Sundays and Mondays for a few months.

Just like anything in my life, as I get better I have an undying obsession that starts. I start reading blogs, journals, books, websites, everything. I rent DVDs. It's ridiculous, really. I've actually known how someone will play just based on what books they read and who their favorite pro is.

Now, I've found groups online that play for money. I use the Meetup Website to find groups and go. Lately, I've been cleaning up. I walked into a warehouse and took 2nd place out of 22 players. As the new guy. I know everyone's worried about this and I'm posting this blog just to say "Don't worry." I'm in control. And don't worry about the unsavory individuals I meet along the way. For the most part all of these guys are real sweethearts.

It's just good exercise for my brain, not to mention walking into a place that you know absolutely no one and coming out with a couple of friends is a cool thing too. But, that's never really been much of a problem. I just wish I could teach it. I'd be a millionaire.