It's cool, I'm bringing it back

A few days ago I was trying to sleep, and through all of the thoughts that wander in my head before I fall asleep I was full of confusion. Confusion isn't the right word, but close. I had started putting pen to paper about the last year of my life but couldn't quite figure out the hook. I mean, as interesting as my life has been and a major topic of interest amongst those close to me, a timeline of what's happened would be as interesting as reading a grocery list.Interesting isn't the right word, but close. I'm smart, right? I can tell stories, right? Writing a book should be easy enough. whatever.

Putting words on a screen is easy enough. I can type all day; that's not the problem. The problem is when I read what I've written. I ask myself questions "is this something I wouldn't be able to put down?" or "Is this enticing enough? Should I livin' it up?" Well, if you know me then you know that I need very little spice to my story.Spice isn't the right word, but close. It's spicy enough. What I need is a hook. What I need is a surprise ending, when this fucked up story hasn't even ended yet.Fucked up is the right word. Exactly. Well I've come up with it and if I can pull it off it should be quite the funny, sarcastic tear jerker. Just like the author. But, I'm not going to tell you. I'm not looking to ruin it all for you. Don't even ask to be a proofreader, I've got people picked out.

NEW FEATURE!
I've got a fun new feature added to my website. If you haven't already noticed there is a "call me" button on my sidebar. "What does it do, TJ???" is what you are thinking. I know. Well, by clicking on it and putting your name and number into the text boxes you'll, surprisingly, call me. What will happen is Grand Central will call your phone, you'll answer, then it will call my voicemail from your phone. "What the fuck is the point? Why wouldn't I just call you from my own goddamn phone?" Is now pacing through your mind. Pacing isn't the right word, but close. Well, with this fantastic service I can record voice messages and post them to my blog. This will allow my readers to ask me anything they like, I'll post it, and then answer it in a blog entry. I'll answer anything and try to get to as many questions as possible.Anything isn't the right word, but close.