Never is the Only Forever

"Never is the only Forever. Never is effortless; You don't have to do something anymore and it becomes 'never.' Forever means you have to commit and grind it out no matter what. Never is easy- people love easy. Take Pop-Tarts and Ramen Noodles for example." ~My Novel

Last night I inspired myself to write which was a problem because all I could think about was sleeping. It was midnight-ish and I just didn't have it in me to really write something thought provoking- which is the point of this entry. Never is the only Forever. I've been saying that for years. I could probably put a date on it if you wanted me to. A time when I became this romantic love cynic and switched gears into making myself believe that the only love that is real is family and friends- "women are just 'dust in the wind.'" but as I started to make myself believe all of this, it ran itself deeper and deeper into my thought process- Not just relationships and love anymore.

I started to realize that it's in everything. Never is the easiest forever. "I will never eat tortilla chips again." How effortless would that be? Maybe not for the corn chip lovers out there; but, for the majority it's incredibly doable. Take diets for instance. A diet is a lifestyle change; people don't realize this. Diet's should be forever. How hard is it to go on a diet? How many people do you know have started a diet and committed to the lifestyle change? Forever. No one has succeeded; have they? "I will go on the diet-forever."


"I will never talk to you again." Now this is a doosy and I was thinking about it all day yesterday. How cowardice is that statement? The ease in never talking to someone again is beyond elementary. Sure, there is pain in detaching from someone you care about, but to me it's a fucking cop-out. My distaste for people who just shut off from another because they don't know how to handle what's going on cannot be described in typed word; you'd have to watch me punch a wall or choke out a puppy. I'm a firm believer in time; I'll take a minute, minute is such a relative term sometimes, and think about what I should do. This is because I know myself well enough to know that in an emotional moment I'll shoot off at the mouth and just make things worse. "I will never talk to you again." Fuck that. If you were going to quit, then why did you start to begin with?

Let's observe the flip-side. "I will always be there for you." How many times have you been told this goddamn lie? How many friends really aren't there for you? that's difficult and most people only use that kind of energy on family. Blood is thicker than water; so if you aren't related to someone who says that to you just assume that one day they won't be. People get bored and sick of constantly being there for other people. Most people who are actually there for everyone feel stepped on and taken advantage of; most of them are in some sort of therapy or take the happy pills. Regular people rationally see that their generosity is not reciprocated and get out of a bad situation. This is why I'd rather hold my liver and cry about my life in private then let people get sick of being my crutch. I know I'll someday need someone to feed me jello in hospice.

Don't think I'm up on my pedestal, as always, preaching to everyone that forever is bullshit because of weak people. I'm know I've let my fair share of people down. I'm also a selfish, know-it-all, egotistical cock. But, at least i know that about myself. Most people go through their lives not having a clue of who they are. I'm just trying to share why I think never is the real forever; and to not let this go on and on I'll just end it here. Since I've written myself as a re-occuring character in the novel, I go into greater detail trying to talk sense into my main character.

Look for it on Amazon in the Spring of Two Thousand- Never.